I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
from now on my penis is your penis
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
