I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
