do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
