it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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