There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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