T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
