i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
