drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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