Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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