My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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