I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize