I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
