I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
