She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
