My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
