im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
