You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
