There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
