Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize