do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
