Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
