the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
