dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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