i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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