If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
