There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
