I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
