My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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