There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
