I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
