how can u be prego again
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
