Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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