honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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