i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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