capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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