Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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