my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
