i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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