hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
