the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
