Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
