2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
