no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
