You just made me feel so damn special
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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