Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
