your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
please come you make the beer taste better
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
