it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
