Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
