please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
