That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
