Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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