Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
