sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
