I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
