When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
