So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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