Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
