I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
