If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
