considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
