What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
