Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
