we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
