i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
