If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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